just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
