I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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