Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
