i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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