we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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