If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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