I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
