You're my little dorito
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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