Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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