What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
