help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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