My first STD was from a foam party
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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