it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
