When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
