i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
