I smell stomach acid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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