my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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