I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
