if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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