Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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