While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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