i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
