Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You left your phone here
Wait...
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