I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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