You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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