yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
