Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
