Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
