when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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