I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
