So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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