its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
