if you like me you must not know who I am
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
