i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
