You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
