i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
