New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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