i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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