If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
