"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
