What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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