: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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