why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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