This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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