They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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