omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
