We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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