Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
