youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
