PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have fence marks all over my body
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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