She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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