I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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