thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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