I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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