Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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