Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
