How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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