And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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