it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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