We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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