Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I puked a lego.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
