dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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