fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
