Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my poor anus
i need some magic done to my vagina
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
