Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
