farters have to be the big spoon...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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