It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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