M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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