I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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