Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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